my love will get you home.... christine glass

If you wander off too far,
my love will get you home.
If you follow the wrong star,
my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me,
my love will get you home,
boy, my love will get you home.

If the bright lights blind your eyes,
my love will get you home.
If your troubles break your stride,
my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me,
my love will get you home,
boy, my love will get you home.

If you ever feel ashamed,
my love will get you home.
When there's only you to blame,
my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me,
my love will get you home,
boy, my love will get you home.


If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me,
my love will get you home,
boy, my love will get you home,
boy, my love will get you home.


just wanna tell my dear that whatever is it, there's always me... *hugz*

inspired by ying's blog....

i feel loved when,

he hug me and kiss me on my forehead before we go to sleep..

cuddling together, with one hand stroking my hair and leaning so close to me that i can feel his breathing and then a kiss on my forehead..

hug me from behind when i'm preparing to go to work/cook etc..

kiss me on my cheek..

hold my hand, look into my eyes and kiss my hand...

holding my hand when he's driving....

leaning onto him when he's driving...

hug me tight telling me everything is going to be ok...

finally, he no longer appear in my mind.. =) *happy*Whew* he's causing a lot of unhappiness in me... but glad that he's finally gone... hope he's gone for good...

he commented that i no longer look so tight up and able to play more with him.. haha well i guess it could be also due to i finally make up my mind, he no longer appear suddenly plus the fact that our plans are getting more concrete...

was glad that he like the fact that i'm a simple ger and rather spend the time with family than working on my career. But yet at the same time i feel that probably i shouldn't be thinking this way.. if this is the case, then won't it be too tough on him in the future?

everything is going up.. but salary not really moving up at the same pace.. haha well at least for now it's still reasonable...

for us woman, we have so many things that we like and want to get.. the list is never ending.. sometimes after thinking i will choose not to get it myself as i think i don't need it but as he don't like to see the disappointment on my face he will try his best to get it for me.. which i appreciate so much...

he's the kind of traditional man who will wants his wife to stay home and look after the children and take care of the housework, if the woman should go out to work, it should be because she's interested and working to pass time and not for the income.. (appreciate his thoughts) as much as i don't enjoy working, i would rather work to support my own spending habits then to ask for monies from him.. some how don't really like this idea of approaching the man for the monies.. especially when we woman are always saying man and woman are equal.. but then again look at this... totally contradict..

of cos another good point will be to prevent unnecessary problems of things such as why are you always buying this and that.. well at least i can reply saying i'm spending my own monies not urs... =D

as of now, according to our plan... i will need to carry on working... hopefully to save as much as i can to fulfill my dream... and not to use his monies for my plan... 5 yrs down the road and i will be able to do whatever i want... i being loved by him and that's the most wonderful thing.. =)

he came into my mind again.. i hate it.. it's like he's invading my mind.. my thoughts...

it's causing me unnecessary stress... especially when i woke up from the dream and can't sleep after that.... the worse thing is i don't even know the reason why when i'm not thinking about him at all!!

i'm disturbed by it.. but i'm not thinking bout it... so why the hell he keep appearing...

i'm upset.. every time the dream is something bad.. about him leaving me.. but that was yrs back.... i woke up crying, feeling guilty... guilty to the one who sleep beside me.. and for having this kind of thoughts for no reason...

i hope it can stop soon... i can be talking to my friend and suddenly mention "his" name... it's so unusual.. and it had never happen before till lately..

pls stop coming into my mind.. i hate it.. u break the trust that i have in you when u did all those things behind my back, you broke all the promises that u made to me.. then u left me with a broken heart.. i hate you for doing all this things to me.. i hate u for treating me the way you did.. i hate you for not choosing to end this amicably..

but..

i thank you for putting me through all these...

cos..

it make me to be more appreciative of what i have now...

to be stronger...

to be more interdependent...

to "open" up my eyes so i can "see" better...


just leave me alone...

it's been a week and 1 day since i agreed to his proposal...

nothing much changes..

still as happy as before....

still as busy as before... probably even more..

time spend with each other getting lesser....


lately, something that happen long ago is back and haunting me..

i had dreams bout him leaving me and i woke up crying..

he never once occur in my mind till lately...

i never told myself to stop thinking about it cos i know the more i tell myself that, the more i will remember and think about it.. so i shrug it off.. but still it happens..

what is the cause of this? bad ending with my previous?

should i hate him for causing me to feel this way... worrying about whether will my current r/s end up the same as before? should i hate him for coming into my life and ending it with a heart pain? or should i thank him for giving me this challenge?

BUT i'm Very sure that i no longer have feelings for him.. only that i been deeply in love with him once...

once bitten, twice shy... i was a bit hesitant when i first step into this relationship, but things have been going well.. and now we are planning our marriage...

i think that i'm blessed.. friends around me commented that i found a very nice guy, stable and sincere...

we are planning our solemn day in year 2010... i was harboring the thoughts of doing it earlier.. thinking that it will make things better.. of course, it will be great if it really works... but what if it fails? what can i do next?

marriage counselling? will it works? i'm shy about sharing what i'm experiencing now with other people.. what will the other couples think of me? fickle mined??

Some friend commented that it's normal for me to feel this way as i making a decision which will affect my life and i start to wonder what will happen next..

some commented that i need a break.. from work and school.. to spend quality time with my husband to be and build up our relationship...

some commented that i worry too much, because i he came into my mind once, i start to worry about when will the second, third, fourth... time to come... it's as though our mind is playing a trick on us... even if i never think about it, could it be my sub-conscious?

i'm confused.. just like this blog.. i think it's nonsense.. i don't know what i'm writing..

i think probably i really need a break...

after much hesitation, i decided to change my job..

i think i'm very mean.. after requesting to change site, i choose to tender...

but i tried.. and i don't like it... i don't like the games that they are playing.. i don't like the politics that they are doing.. i prefer to be in a supporting role.. i like a role whereby the stress is not on me... i like a role whereby the target person of politics is not on me... i want to be someone insignificant.. i want to be low-profile.. i'm not a career minded woman by nature.. i don't want to go so far up.. it's meaningless to me if i'm drawing lot of monies but i don't have quality time spend on my family. i don't have the determination? maybe.. cos that's not what i want in life...

it's all time management? hmm sure? unless i'm the director of the company probably then i can spend all the time i want not at work and just leave it to someone to handle.. there may be people out there who are living life like this, i'm not them, i don't know how they really feel. But to me when i'm old and sitting on my rocking chair, i want to think about the happy things.. and not regretting on the lost time that i can spend with my precious...

since young, my dreams have always been to open my own childcare or a florist, a small scale one. i think by nature, i'm not ambitious and i think that's good.. be content with what you have makes me a happier person...

till now, it hadn't change.. i believe my own thoughts and belief will stay..

on the 3 june 08, 11pm plus...

we had a huge fight..

and

on the 4 june 08, at about 3am plus...

i become someone wife...

irony isn't it?

i mean just after a huge fight, wanted to break off, no understanding.. y would i still agree? i must be out of my mind..

initially, i thought we will never ever quarrel over that issue, but apparently we did...

overly sensitive to what he said? not true..

maybe i tend to keep things to myself.. don't want to worry him also...

when was the last time i cry before that? i realized i cannot remember..

he make me happy.. he keeps me happy..

my only stress is from work and school...

what more can i ask for?

don't think i will regret..

after that night, i finally know what his plans are.. i'm glad that he told me about it.. i'm glad i understand him a bit more and know what he wants..

but still, i feel uncertain about myself.. even though i have agree to his proposal.. i know he will honor his words.. but i'm worried about myself.

seeing the ring of my finger remind me that i'm his wife.. i no longer single n carefree, but someone with responsibilities and huge commitment... it reminds me that i can no longer be the childish me, the one who wants the easiest way out by choosing to end the relationship, but to work things out amiably and as a couple, to share the concerns that we have and our problems too.. to share our ups and downs..

though we may not be legally binded yet.. but verbal consent is as good as that...

i'm someone wife now... and i'm glad to be.. but i also feel werid...

i wonder how does he reali feel???

i had just been slapped by the harsh facts of life... everything in life need monies, not just monies but alot of monies...

take these for eg.

a new 4room flat can easily cost you 220k but you gotta wait yrs for it, if your can't wait, then get a resale, which can easily cost you 380k for a 4room flat in a matured estate and what about the cash deposit?

After the house, then comes the house renovation part, whether or not you like it, it will cost you a minimum of 10k?

then here comes the wedding, if you fancy hotel, probably it will cost at least 1k? what if you have lotsa friends? how many tables you will need to have? what about the alcohol? come on, we all know the facts, people goes wedding to drink.. to make the groom drunk (waste of monies, nO choice, once in a lifetime thing). but every woman will want at least a reasonable wedding... it's a lifetime thing... it form parts of your memory... the starting point honoring the vows... the new starting point as husband and wife...

what about the wedding packages? red packets for the brothers and sisters? buffet? rings? photo/video taking?

what about children? cost of childcare? school fees? clothing?

Costs are raising, standards of living are also raising.. our pay also raise (but a tiny tiny bit), but is it enough to cover all this? 10years down the road, what would the cost of public transport be? or how much will a full tank of petrol cost just for a 1.5cc car???

i no longer envy those filthy rich people, i used to be so jealous and full of envy... they can get whatever they wants, our luxury items is their normal daily items, our 1 thousand dollars is their 1 hundred dollars, their 1 carat diamond is wore on their ears, hands, wrist..etc.. whereas our only precious diamond is when our hubby propose to us... but this also make it more valuable, more precious...

that's how drastic the difference is.. how can anyone not envy that kind of lifestyle? but i told myself, i'm glad i found someone who really appreciate me and who is really willing to pamper me, i'm not a extravagant person by nature, having him is good enough... comparing will just make my life suxs more...

i'm not someone who goes for luxury items, they are wants not needs... i can identify what is my needs and what is my wants in life..

my wants:

a happy family
a loving, caring husband
a job that i enjoy (which i already know but not doing)
cleaning up my house, preparing food and taking care of my kids and husband
time to accompany and see my child grow up
a simple life...

my needs:

luxury items..


if i can identify, doesn't it means that i know my limits?? how many luxury items do i have or do i really want? typical girls will just keep harping on it but when you reali do it, it's heart pain... that sum of monies can be put into reali good use...

time is the most valuable thing in life.. once lost it, you can never get it back.. i'm trying to make full use of my time.. i want to try all those things before i lost my value... there's only so far you can go.. and if you reali want to make it big, do it when you are young. At least you can still try n try again. Rather than you start at the point whereby you no longer have the "power" to keep you going....

To: Adrian,

darlin u r seriously the best guy i ever met.. apart from ur smoke.. (though i still Hope tat u either smoke lesser or quit) .. however, no one can be compared to you in the ways you treat me... your honesty which give me the sense of security (which i appreciate so much), i'm always your priority and wanting the best for me.. not letting me know the stress that you are facing (but i know it anyway, i'm not dumb), always encouraging me (my bad English and my dreams), giving me the best that you can, tolerating my da xiao jie temper ( i'm trying), being patience (for waiting for me after class and my temper), respecting me, for trying to be as romantic as you get (i'm a hopeless romantic) and also for so many other things that you had done for me... most importantly, treating, showering, giving all the love that you can..

Thanks alot...


angel...