"ah ger,你回来了" is the reason y I prefer going back to my place.. This warms my heart n make me feel important... Rather than "aloysius, 你来了，我很想你.." without me or ur son, will there even be him? Well, even though I'm glad that they love him, but at least all the invitations home is not for the reason of just seeing him..

Jealous? Not even abit. I just feel that I'm not part of their family ever since the birth of my prince. Even during my confinement. I appreciate what she does but some things that she do just make me feel that way. Not forgetting the things that she say which piss me off totally.. Eg, ＂你们抱他抱到很sian, 我来抱＂，＂他们每次不给我抱你＂ . How can I not be angry after hearing this? I can't take it anymore today n I rebuked her back.. I know I shouldn't but I have my limits. Don't push any further..

I respect u but quit saying those kind of things.

My boi is finally 6 weeks old but he still have jaundice. On the 1st nov, we will be bringing him back for his review, hopefully it's below 100. I was hoping for a miracle that it will be less then 50 BUT I know it's not possible. Because his jaundice level has been going down very slowly.

We have been bringing him out for morning sun and trying all sorts of remedies that people told us but apparently it's still the same. Well, the level did drop though. But not sure which is one that actually works as we are trying everything out. Kiasu harz..

I'm really very tired of his sleepless day and night. He can be up for his feeding and up for the next 2-3hrs awake. Somehow I have a phobia of him waking up for feed and not falling asleep after that, and I'm actually hoping that he don't wake up so often and sleep longer. I'm really really tired.. Not that I'm really tired but also because I'm worried that he's not getting enough sleep. Sleep is so important and essential to a newborn for him to grow but yet my boi is not sleeping much. I'm so tired and worried.

I guess I'm not a good mother afterall..

The angel yet the devil.. But he's my love..

It's been 2 weeks since the birth of my little darling, Aloysius Joshua Tan. During this 2 weeks, my mood been fluctuating up n down.. First, he's been warded 2 days in KKH due to jaundice n till now it still haven't gone away. Now we are doing trying all sorts of method juz to "cure" it. =( secondly, it my confinement n lastly, milk supply.

With him having jaundice, I am so stress up n I cant stop thinking whether does he drink enough n do I have enough supply to supply him. My worse nightmare came true.. I realized my supply seem to be dropping but my baby is drinking more.. I am so worried n tense up.. I'm trying not to give him fm but my supply is not enough, what should I do? I am extremely upset. Plus his jaundice condition, I think I'm breaking down..

I never share this with my hubby because I know how he want me to be happy n not tense up over this. But seriously, I can't help especially when I feel that my baby is not drinking enough..

Am so lost n disappointed in myself..

Promise

Whether I can or cannot let it go, I promise to be my husband's good wife n our precious son's good mother.

I will definitely fulfill my role. Because they are also the love of my life.

I have the best doting hubby ever...

No matter how tough it is he still want me to be at home n look after our child even though i told him i will look for a job and help out the family. But he would rather take up all the responsibilities upon himself.

How not to envy me? I'm such a blessed woman with a caring, loving and responsible husband. =)

Sorry seem to b so hard

All I want to hear is just a I'm sorry, is it so hard?

The sentence I'm sorry doesn't seem to exist anymore..