sharing..

had a loOOong talk with my B.O last night.. discovered something new about him again.. maybe all along he's like that but somehow i never realized.. it's either that or i take it for granted that he should do it... i feel so upset with myself... the new thing that i discovered.. he's always reflecting and thinking about our r/s and that he really value and respect me alot more then what i think... and the reassurance of what are our needs and the love we have for each other.. =) *lovely*

last night was so sweet.. it was literally "love is in the air".. as much as i would like to continue to sink myself in that atmosphere but it was kinda late and we need to work tomorrow (to be practical---> we need our sleep/rest----> need "bread" to survive not just love)...

we shared about all our concerns, worries, stress, dreams... things that we choose to keep to ourself then to let the other partner worry.. calming each other down with promises and solutions as well as what's the worse scenario? as long as we have each other by our side, everything will be fine.. it's the encouragement, the determination to provide your best for your love ones, the understanding , the need for each other and the love that will pull you through everything... just the thought of your love one is always behind you supporting you will push you to move on.. =)

things that doesn't kill you will just make you stronger.. the next day will be a brand new day.. start everyday with a smile, end each day with a smile...

hmmmm

Came across this on the internet.... what a boyfriend should do........

- When she walks away from you mad
[Follow her ]

When she stares at your mouth
[ smile...then kiss her ]

When she pushes you or hit's you
[ hug her tight ]

When she starts cursing at you
[ say i love you ]

When she's quiet
[ hold her hand and ask what's wrong ]

When she ignores you
[ act cute so she'll notice you ]

When she pulls away
[ Pull her back ]

When you see her at her worst
[ tell her you love her and she still looks amazing ]

When you see her start crying
[hold her...ask her what's wrong]

When you see her walking
[ approach her..give a kiss on the cheek. ]

When she's scared
[assure her you're not goin to leave her ]

When she lays her head on your shoulder
[ tilt your head too..and hold her hand ]

When she steals your favorite hat
[ let her keep it]

When she teases you
[ Tease her back and make her laugh ]

When she doesnt answer for a long time
[ reassure her that everything is okay ]

When she looks at you with doubt
[ Back yourself up ]

When she says that she likes you
[ she really does more than you could understand ]

When she grabs at your hands
[ Hold hers and play with her fingers ]

When she bumps into you
[ bump into her back and make her laugh ]

When she tells you a secret
[ keep it safe and untold ]

When she looks at you in your eyes
[ dont look away until she does ]

When she misses you
[ she's hurting inside ]

When you break her heart
[ the pain never really goes away ]

When she says its over
[ she still wants you to be hers ]

When she repost this bulletin
[ she wants you to read it ]


- Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.

- When she's mad
hug her tight and don't let go

- When she says she's ok
dont believe it, talk with her

- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you:

- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her

- Call her before you sleep and after you wake up

- Treat her like she's all that matters to you.

- Tease her and let her tease you back.

- Stay up all night with her when she's sick

- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid

- Give her the world.

- Let her wear your clothes.

- When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.

- Let her know she's important.

- Kiss her in the pouring rain.

- When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;
"Who's ass am I kicking babe?"



many times, people tend to forget that in a r/s small things is lots more important than big things things..

unhappiness..

how many times have you drop your tears over the one that you love? how many times does your love one know that you cried so much for them just because you never cry infront of them? why bottled up everything when it's better to talk things out?

i once heard, women's tears are very precious, do not let other people see it... a man shouldn't let his lady cry...

But... how many times have you seen a girl crying over her love one?

We don't take tears of joy into considerations... just the downs... how many times have you cried since the day your started? does he know? does he feel pain when he saw you cry? does he even feel something?

crying may not be the way to solve problems or issues... however, all of them forgotten that crying is the basic emotion of human beings! why can't man cry as well? they are human being too! they can feel too... women are always call the weaker side of the human being.. why is that so? just because they cry?

crying is just a way of releasing your unhappiness... shout and cry at the same time! it works even better.. all your fustrations and unhappiness will go..

i will still cry.. not because of what.. that's just because i am a normal human being...

if onli..

had a talk about his past relationship and what happen... i know it will make me feel uncomfortable but i still ask about it.. silly me right?? serves me right for feeling the way that i am feeling now... i ask for it...

long story... i feel like a replacement... also don't know how to put it... my heart just feel uncomfortable... maybe i feel that at that point of time i was being compared and i don't like that feeling... if he's really comparing and i'm the one chosen should i be happy or should i not? if he never compare then i so stupid...

man only ask the women past relationship before they start and stop when they are in a relationship cos to them only the future matters... but women ask before they start and even when they are in the relationship.. not just once but many many times.... strange... maybe not all but i certainly belong to this category...

i think it's cos i want to hear the differences between me and the previous and that i'm better and far more superior than them... especially when the complements come without you asking...that feeling is even more shiok... come on all women think their guy previous women are heart breakers... likewise the man feel the same way too.. just admit it..

all people likes to listen to good thing.. this fact will never ever change...

i wish i can stop asking... i think i can do it... but give me abit more time.. i'm sure i can.. when i have more confidence in myself and higher self esteem...

love to dream!

dreams! my dreams is to travel to greeCE, holland, parague, japan, shanghai, europe, egypt..... there's so many so many places that i would like to visit but my B.O say start with the nearest one first.... thailand... =( (but still it's good cos i love beaches, sunset, peace and most importantly he's there with me!!)

there are so many things that i wish and want to do but somehow it's more like a dream.. cos i know it will not happen... first of all.. i'm not a rich kid who parents are directors of MNCs or developers of something exotic selling all over the world and earning tons and tons of money.... i depend on myself (which i feel proud of, but sometimes i do wish...) ... secondly, i do not earn few hundred thousands monthly... and to be logical, i need tons of $$ to fulfill my dream of traveling to those places and staying there for months... hai.....

however, it's because my salary is only that bit and when i bought something that i been wishing for i will be especially happy and i also feel a sense of achievement cos i bought myself without asking from anyone... therefore every thing that i buy means a lot to me...

anyway... i still like to dream, whether it is realistic or not... i love to dream....

when love...

每段故事都有一篇剧情
每段爱情都像动人旋律
一颗真心向着你前进
爱情越单纯越着迷... ...

当爱情让人失去自我, 失去理智, 让自己不再是自己时,
那只是用情之深... ...

在爱情的世界里没对或错
感情一旦变质就只能等待结束
执着只会把自己伤得遍体鳞伤 ,体无完肤
与其让自己痛不堪言倒不如开心的度过每一天... ...

不是每段爱情都有美丽的结局
不是每段爱情都会天长地久
单每段爱情都是深深烙印在心里永远刻骨铭心... ...

偶尔事情总会有例外
积极的过自己想要的生活才是对自己最好的生活方式... ...

his fishing trip

went fishing with B.O. and his friends overnight on sat till sunday morning on a boat...

as usual, i play games, chit chat with them, listen to my mp3, eat , take pictures and sleep... that's normally what i do when i go fishing with them.. i will seldom fish, in fact most of the time i never.. firstly, i scare i damage his rod, secondly, i a bit "si ba" i donnoe when is the fish biting the bait and the waiting time (cos u never when will the fish get "excited" about ur bait)... and lastly i feel like sleeping most of the time... (can you imagine the boat is rocking, rocking and rocking, it just get you in the mood) haha

of cos it another form of relaxation... but it's just kinda boring especially when i don't know what are they talking about (they communicate in hokkien), i understand abit here and there but somehow when they get abit too chim and when the topic start to surround about fishing.. i'm lost.. and to make things worse, i'm the only girl there, no one to talk to me about "girls stuff", so usually i just sleep.. either that or take pic... B.O. will be too occupy with fishing and concentrating... i don't mind going cos i can get to see my B.O and spend time with him plus to see the scenery and their catch... but somehow 'cos his time will be on fishing (which should be) i feel abit bored and secretly wish that he will be interested in the photos take i taken or whatever i doing... anyway i guess i'm the only one that is interested in the photos....

our 1st anniversary..

celebrated our anniversary on 31st oct 07..

been waiting for this day , not because of anything but just want to see his expression when he see my present to him...

i left office at 530pm sharp and my sweet love is already here to pick me up... =D (not 'cos i'm lazy but i just can't wait and i tink my love feel the same too! but no choice i still got to work.. =( )

finally he told me where we are going for dinner.. .villa bali @ gillman village!!

We reach there pretty early (it's like less then 20mins drive to there from my work place) so i decided to pass him his present in the car itself.. =)
I watch him as he remove the wrapper carefully.. when he saw the present, there was a wide smile on his face ( he told me he almost cry cos he was very touched.. wAhaha)

and it was my turn to open up his present for me... keke it's a mug with our pictures n his words! so sweet of him.. never thought that he will do such thing for me cos he like too "da nan ren"

my present for him



his present for me

after that we walk around the place enjoying the peacefulness and thinking where to sit.. haha..

we finally decided where to sit and we took a long time to decide what to eat... after some time we finally decided on....

the food -------> YuMMMy!! simple love the glutinous rice! the smell and the taste! gOOOd! but my BO say Thailand's one is even better... (nvm we get to taste in at the end of the yr, YiPpeE!!)

over the meal we talked about how we met, how we felt... feeling so sweet.. right to my heart..
the ambiance was nice and romantic, feel like being surrounded by nature.. not much people there also and i like the quietness.. it's as though he booked the whole place and there's only the two of us.. =)

After dinNer, we went to nOrth bOrder at rochester park... suppose to go one rochester but it's closed for private events.. =(

'cos we don't really know the way there, we make use of ......

the gadgets that took us to our destination.. keke

and realized how near these 2 places are... haha

@ north border, (we are still full from the previous meal) we ordered,


mostly mushroom

my cOcktAil

hIs bEer

thE sIDe dIsh that's with tHe bEeR..

a nice and cosy place... even have "live" music... both of us enjoyed the music.. the ambiance was great.. we had fun discussing about everything! from his friends to what have we been doing for the past year.. after our drinks, we went for a walk around the place with a representative from the restaurant.. he brought us round the place and there's a shop besides the bar counter selling all sorts of thing (keke) and there's also a private event going on at the 2nd storey of North Border but being nice, he open the door and let us have a look... there's a nice fire place and the layout of the room is simply simple and cosy.. =) i love it!


his devilish lOOk =)

trying to look evil but fail.... =(

@ the swing..

@ entrance of north border

it's been a year that we met, many things happened, both good and bad.... we worked it through and i'm glad that he never gave up.. he give in a lot to me, try to spent every moment of his time with me, always letting me know his schedule so i know, respecting me in every single way, treating me like a princess, cooks for me.... he may do things that irritates me at certain times but he also do things that melt my heart.. i do things that annoys him like hell but i also do things that make him smile... i guess that's just parts and parcel of being in a relationship.. i love the way he smile when i did something that touches his heart and the look of his face when he wake up (so blur and cute) i love his madness (that either make me laugh like crazy or make me mad), love his hugs , kisses and his efforts to communicate with my parents... every moment spend together, we will have a little small new discovery about each other.... which means that if you notice, there will always be something new about your partner.. the changes in your partner is not overnight and when you never notice it most probably is you never really notice your partner or there's no communication that's all...

Happy Anniversary my dear...
this is the first and many more to come.... =)

hates..

things i hate:

- being wrongly accuse ( sometimes i may keep quiet doesn't mean that you people are rite)
- being reprimand after telling what got me upset
- being left alone at home
- irresponsible
- flirt
- inconsiderate people
- rude and no manners
- people who simple wont listen
- people who don't give respect yet they want others to do it
- people who never get their facts right and start reprimanding me for nothing
- people who misunderstood me
- people who know my habit/behavior yet still reprimand me
- people who reprimand/scold /blame me even when i'm feeling upset
- people who cannot put themself in my shoe
- people who don't appreciate my efforts
- people who can't feel how i feel ( i understand people react differently, but can't they agree with me at those times when i'm upset)
- people who think they are right all the times
- people who never make any effort to understand my point
- people who break promises
- people who do things and remind of things that i never wish to remember
- people who done all the above mentioned......

horible...

my weekend was horrible...

1st: something happen to the dearest ppl in my life...
2nd: i cried myself to sleep on sat nite..

I felt so unjustified, angry, misunderstood , miserable and being wrongly accused...

i'm a sis but i'm also a woman.. and i love both of them and i want them to be happy too..

am i reali wrong in my actions? i'm starting to doubt my actions.. mayb i shouldn't tell and the problem wouldn't be as big as now... i know he's blaming me for it.. but what fault do i have when i didn't make up any story but only the truth?? people blame people when they make mistakes or did something wrong.. what about the nice things that i had helped them before? doesn't it mean anything at all?

at the end of the day i still want them to have the best and to be happy without any doubts or worries...

however i'm glad cos i realized no matter what zhen and my BO will always be beside me... zhen is my most treasured and dearest frd to me.. i can always rely on her cos she truly understand me and i thank whoever for letting me get to know her and eventually become frd till now...

what we wants...

what a girl want from guys:

- love
- care
- concern
- understanding
- spending quality time together
- making initiative
- surprises
- prefer the guy to know what she wants by picking up hints
- sensitivity
- romance
- sweet to both her frds and family
- be her punching bag when she's unhappy without complaining
- listen to all her "stories" and must seem interested
- say sorry even when she's in the wrong
- treat her like a princess
- hug and kiss whenever possible
- hold her hand when she's afraid
- say i love you whenever you can when you feel like it and mean it pls


what a guy want from girls;

- love
- care
- concern
- lots of understanding
- don't expect too much (surprises)
- tell them exactly what you want and don't make them guess
- not too sensitive but must be
- give him 'face' (anything go home and talk)
- sweet
- cannot be jealous when he's good to his female frds (cos they are just frd)
- cannot be demanding


Nevertheless.....

We came to the world not by finding someone perfect to love... BUT to learn
how to love an imperfect person perfectly....

excited..

16 more days to our day...

i'm so excited!

I can't wait to see the look on his face when i give him the present that i prepare for him (even though it's not completed yet), wondering what's the present that he prepare for me, where will he bring me to for dinner and the after dinner-programme plan by me...

i just can't wait....

his 1st bday with me..

HIS B'DAY!! =)

i never really prepared much for him moreover this is his first bday spent with me... feeling guilty cos he planned a very nice bday for me... =( first of all, i didn't know what to buy for him, have a couple of ideas but don't know what should i get.. went round asking his friends but in the end i bought something else for him.. a N95 and he gotten his bday present even before his bday! so on the day itself i have to plan something else for him so that he will be surprise! (headache)




On our way....

So i decided to bring him to my secret garden which i promise =)

His bday menu:




coffee ( he love it cos it's thick enough)






Assorted mushroom pastry (it's sOOoo goOOd!)




'
Crayfish spaghetti in tomato sauce

(it's not really tomato sauce taste more like some thai sauce, he love the sauce so much and even asked me to go to the kitchen and ask how they coOk it so i can cook for him =P )




Spicy prawn and scallop in tomato sauce



Tiramisu (surprise!) also his bday cake =)



secret kiwi and passion fruit ( he find it too sweet =( )



SurpRise 1:


i gave him a little box and asked him to bring it on the actual day......



SurpRise 2:


tiramisu!! he didn't know i secretly reserve a cake for him cos when we are deciding what to eat i keep on saying i want desert so i told him i walking over to the counter to have a look and at the same time he was also allow to open up the box......

so while he was opening the box and playing with it, i walk up to him with the cake and wish him happy birthday!





SurpRise 3:


a mysterious present that is suppose to be given only when we reach the last place but he discover it.... =( (it's either his eyes too sharp or i'm just too dumb)

Some shots taken by the staff =)

After dinner we head straight to The cookies museum use to be called The V-Tea room.. as usual a quiche for him and a liqueur cake for me! =)

Simply love the decor of the cafe..... (*-*)/

Went for a walk down esplanade and realize it's been quite some time since we took a walk like this.. =)



Home sweet home after that... that's all for his bday.... as compared to the one he plan for me i feel so guilty.... nevertheless i still feed him till he's bloated... =D

sweets...

Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things; believes all things; hopes all things; endures all things.

came across this on the internet, found it so meaningful and i decided to leave it permanently in my blog and share it with my dearest one....

dream dream dream...

had a bad dream last night... it's the second or third time that i dream of such things...


in my previous dream, i threw one person down from 5th floor at my old place and after that i ran downstairs to check if anybody saw it (ridiculous isn't it?) and last night, it the same thing again, the setting is somewhere i had never been to and this time round i not just throw one person down but many! leaving only the youngest baby boy... a man that appeared in my dream said to me that he's not going to report me cos he leaving me give birth to more children.. and i replied saying that he had done more sin than me... and i woke up...


i wonder does this dream means anything at all... is it trying to say anything to me.. or maybe i just think too much.. but it's horrible..

busy busy busy...

been so busy with my school work that i hardly get to sleep for more than 5hrs for the past weeks... even sat and sun.. damn horrible... i simply don't understand the reason why are we given so many assignment and the submission date are so close to one another.. when we ask for extension, the lecturer will say if you change the submission date then you will not be able to complete the other one... what the hell right! hardly even complete one, here comes another.. and the assignment are all essays and you need to do research! and Oh yA, we have lesson 3-4 times a week, if it happens to be 2 times a week then the 2-3 next week will be 4/week...


The other one is the attachment, it's not that i mind the attachment, (i enjoyed it) but hello~ we are all working adults! the reason why we are here for part time is b'cos we cannot commit to full time! No doubt taking on the course will cause us our sleep and time, but not the fact that it's going to affect our work! it's 7days! and we have 1 attachment every semester, the last attachment will be 14days! what if we really cannot go for the attachment? are we going to fail that module???


i need to have time for friends, family (even if it just sitting there watching tv show but now i don't get a chance to) and my bf.. he's the most poor thing... send me to school, wait there for 3 hrs only to send me back home then he head home again yet he never complaint.. even sometimes sat and sun i need to meet up for some project discussion he will send me there ,go nearby take a walk then come back and pick me up again... if not when i'm doing assignment at his place, he will cook whatever i want to eat while i'm do my assignment.... it's been awhile since i last cooked for him, i feel so guilty..


it's only been like 6mths since i started on my part time course, but i really feel so tired, especially rushing out the assignment... feel like hibernating for one season before it start all over again....

actions speaks louder than words..

if you are worried about someone, what will you do?


you will give whatever the person need isn't it? (of cos it must be within your limits)



sometimes i wonder, does whoever say worried bout you reali mean it?



i mean the person can just keep saying worried about you but give you nothing but endless of question about what happen. if the worry had been shared before why ask again? somehow it will just make the person feel unimportant...



actions mean more than anything... words are nothing when it had already been repeated to oneself over and over again.....

tired...

I'm burned out.... and i wish i have 48hrs a day instead of 24hrs...


i need more time for my own personal stuffs, my love ones, my school's assignment, exam, my friends, my family, my beauty sleep, etc....


everything is about time management, maybe I'm juz not good at time planning.. bUt how can i squeeze in so many thing? someone help me please!



I'm tired and i want to be enjoying everyday to the maximum.. n not having the feeling of not enough time to do my things... i'm exhausted..


i love all the things that I'm doing now definitely but somehow just wish i have more time...



time, time, time, i just want more time....

be appreciative??

have i tried my best?? i don't think i did so.. feel so terrible now... my exam... etc....

a couple of other incidents that happened make me feel even worse...

everyone have a past, of course i understand that... but some things just can't be let go or live with it so easily... it's just human nature... lotsa time are required... sometimes by not saying it doesn't mean that someone don't want to share, probably she is just trying to get over by herself and not involving the other party.. i mean 1 party upset is better then 2, is that wrong of me to think that?

my friend said this to me 'sometimes e past is not for u to forgot. but at the same time u have to rem what u have now'..

the past are your memories, you can't possibly detached it away from you..

i know what i have now and i feel bless and fortunate... i'm glad and i do appreciate it but a part in me is destroying whatever that i have and i hate that part of me.. and all cos of that, it seems that i'm not appreciative of whatever that had been showered on me but i can't blame anyone, cos' it's me, it's my own fault....

i wish i can forget about whatever that happened and be back my usual self.. it's just so not me.. can't smile, can't laugh.. can't even communicate... but at the same time i still cannot forget..

but i know that it's just a matter of time...