be appreciative??

have i tried my best?? i don't think i did so.. feel so terrible now... my exam... etc....

a couple of other incidents that happened make me feel even worse...

everyone have a past, of course i understand that... but some things just can't be let go or live with it so easily... it's just human nature... lotsa time are required... sometimes by not saying it doesn't mean that someone don't want to share, probably she is just trying to get over by herself and not involving the other party.. i mean 1 party upset is better then 2, is that wrong of me to think that?

my friend said this to me 'sometimes e past is not for u to forgot. but at the same time u have to rem what u have now'..

the past are your memories, you can't possibly detached it away from you..

i know what i have now and i feel bless and fortunate... i'm glad and i do appreciate it but a part in me is destroying whatever that i have and i hate that part of me.. and all cos of that, it seems that i'm not appreciative of whatever that had been showered on me but i can't blame anyone, cos' it's me, it's my own fault....

i wish i can forget about whatever that happened and be back my usual self.. it's just so not me.. can't smile, can't laugh.. can't even communicate... but at the same time i still cannot forget..

but i know that it's just a matter of time...