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Tuesday 25 March 2008

virture or not?



Patience
is the ability to endure waiting, delay, or provocation without becoming annoyed or upset, or to persevere calmly when faced with difficulties.


"In the Christian religion, patience is one of the most valuable virtues of life. Increasing patience is viewed as the work of the Holy Spirit in the Christian who has accepted the gift of salvation. The high value placed on patience by Christianity is evidenced in the following bible references:

In the first letter Paul wrote to the Christian community at Thessalonica, he urged them to be patient: "We urge you, brothers, ... be patient with all. See that no one returns evil for evil; rather, always seek what is good for each other and for all." (1 Thessalonians 5:14-15, NAB)

The Epistle of James advises: "Be patient, therefore, brothers, ... See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient with it until it receives the early and the late rains. You too must be patient." (James 5:7-11, NAB) Patience is important


In the Book of Sirach (which is accepted as part of the biblical canon by Catholics and Eastern Orthodox, but not by most Protestants), it is explained that patience is a quality of God: "What is man, of what worth is he? The good, the evil in him, what are these? The sum of a man's days is great if it reaches a hundred years: Like a drop of sea water, like a grain of sand, so are these few years among the days of eternity. That is why the LORD is patient with men and showers upon them his mercy." (Sirach 18:6-9, NAB)


While patience is not one of the traditional biblical three theological virtues nor one of the traditional four cardinal virtues, it is one of the seven virtues.

In Buddhism, patience is one of the "perfections" (paramitas) that a bodhisattva trains in and practices to realize perfect enlightenment (bodhi)"


Ranked in ascending order of sanctity, the seven holy virtues are:

  • Chastity (Latin, Castitas) (purity, opposes Lust, Latin Luxuria) —
    Embracing of moral wholesomeness and achieving purity of body and thought through education and betterment.
  • Temperance (Latin, Temperantia) (self-control, opposes Gluttony, Latin Gula) —
    Practicing self-control, abstention, and moderation.
  • Charity (Latin, Liberalitas) (will, generosity, opposes Greed, Latin Avaritia) —
    Generosity. Willingness to give. A nobility of thought or actions.
  • Diligence (Latin, Industria) (ethics, opposes Sloth, Latin Acedia) —
    A zealous and careful nature in one's actions and work. Decisive work ethic. Budgeting one's time; monitoring one's own activities to guard against laziness.
  • Patience (Latin, Patientia) (peace, opposes Wrath, Latin Ira) —
    Forbearance and endurance through moderation. Resolving conflicts peacefully, as opposed to resorting to violence. The ability to forgive; to show mercy to sinners.
  • Humility (Latin, Humilitas) (modesty, opposes Pride, Latin Superbia) —
    Modest behavior, selflessness, and the giving of respect. Giving credit where credit is due; not unfairly glorifying one's own self.


In this modern world, who knows what are the seven virtues? ask anyone from the younger generation and they will you, "what the f*u*k is that?" "who cares!" look at the age of youngster engaging in sexual activities, they are getting younger and younger. Look at the divorce rate, it's getting higher and higher. And look at the number of PI being hired by man to check on their wife, it's more than woman checking on their man. what does all this mean? Gone are the days where sexual acts only happen after marriage, where man are the only one who can file for divorce ... The world is changing. woman are making their choice. To live their live better. To treat themself better. To gain the respect that they should have. The ability to make own decision.


If patience is such a virtue, and they have an award for being patience, i think my mum will win this. Simple, she had been tolerating all my dad's nonsense and wrong-doings for umpteen years.. To me, my dad is incorrigible. As a woman, i will not waste my youth on such a person. Yes, he may have been a loving and caring boyfriend or husband once, but, he had also done enough hurt to everyone. And whatever good he done no longer atone for all his wrong-doings. Tell me it's about previous life and reincarnation, or tis is what we own him in our previous life, it's just pure bullshit. Even if it's really the case, he already got more than what he deserve from any one of us.


Am i being mean or unfilial by saying all this? i hate myself at time for being in such a position. I'm his daughter but I'm also a woman. Everyone have a choice and Yes i have a choice, i choose to stand by my mum no matter what even if it means i'm the one who get it in the end from both him n even my mum.. But i just can't stand the way my mum is being treated this way. She deserve a lot lot more. She may say things that hurt me, still, she had done lots more to gain my respect. i feel the hurt that she's feeling too and this is the reason that pull me into my state of nastiness towards my dad. i resent him for the things he do. his extreme bad habit.


I love the modern world where woman no longer need man to survive. If man can cheat, we can. If man can get a divorce, we can. If man can be standing at the top of the world, we woman can do it too. Don't ever think that woman are just born to be married away and their job is to stay at home n be a home-maker.. It's equal now.. what's the point of being married when there's no respect for each other, no care and understanding for each other. Being married nowadays simply means you don't have to wait till you are 35 to get your own flat. What does that marriage certificate mean when you don't honor the promise.. it's just a useless piece of paper.. tear it away now and you can easily re-obtain it from the ROM.. you just need to pay.. money rule the world now.


I had been hurt deeply once. And that once is enough to know what i want now. I make the choice to leave and i'm happily in another r/s, in fact now we are preparing to get married. if i had choose to stick to my previous regardless of how he treated me, i believe my smile wont be that often and my happiness wont be so much that it's overwhelming me. My mum told me everything can be worked out and i believe that. But being in a r/s is not a one-sided thing, it takes 2 hands to clap. If i want but the other party refuse to, can i force him? The scene will turn out ugly. My future will be gloomy and full of doubts cos the result is being "forced" out. Everyone have a choice, i remember "my future" told me that life is a matter of choices, choose to be happy or sad is very dependant on oneself. I choose to to let go of that r/s that is hopeless and step into another, this mean freeing myself from the past and getting what i should be getting, what i deserve.


i do wish that my mum have make a choice at that point of time, i believe her life would be so much more happier if she choose that..


i believe the family will be much closer, more love, care and understanding..


what a woman want is very simple... find a man who truly love her, honor her, respect her.. give her your best, promise her your heart and that you'll never do anything to hurt her and she will really give you her all.. i trust that my dad did it once, that's why till now my mum is still with him, forgiving him no matter what he did....


is it silly ? i think it's just love...






Tuesday 18 March 2008

status..


went online to check the status of our purchase of flat for Damai Grove at Punggol.. been waiting for so long and finally today i saw.....



Application Details

Date Submitted 05 Jan 2008
Reference No. -


Mode of Sale Build-To-Order Exercise
Flat Type Applied 4-Room
Town Applied Punggol 21
Applicant Name 1. Adrian Tan Cher Wee (Adrian Chen Zhehui)
2. Lim Ming Hui, Angelia
Occupier Name -
Mailing Address
Appointment Date to Book Flat 03 Apr 2008
Appointment Time to Book Flat 10:30 AM


Status of Application

Status Your queue number is E0225. Your appointment to select a flat is on 03 Apr 2008 at 10:30 AM.


i am so excited!!!! now i can't wait for the day to come.. =)

we are going to have our house... finally a house of our very own... i hope nothing will go wrong and the project will go ahead!



Saturday 15 March 2008

surprise!!

received a surprise yday from BO yday...

when he first came into my office.. i noticed that he's all dressed u (cos usually he will be in bermuda and t-shirt) , he looked really good.. =) ask him why.. first he say going dating must wear nice than he say want to celebrate my passing of exams.. decide to bring me somewhere nice for dinner... =)

he waited for me about 1hr in the office as i need to complete my report for my practicum.. was really stress and sian.. nvm another one down.. yIppEE!!!

when we went down to the car park to get the car, put my bag at the back seat, walk back to the front seat, my face immediately light up (i think) when i saw...





my surprise!!! it's been a while since i last receive flowers from him.. for a moment i thought. "what occasion is it today? how come i don't remember?" i ask him and his reply was,"cos you pass your exam, than i see you so down and stress recently, decide to cheer you up, so buy you this and bring you for a nice dinner, pus i also long time never surprise you le." =)


my fourth bouquet! (this time round roses usually is tulips) =)



so sweet... that's good bout him.. he know when i'm happy and when i'm not.. he's a SNAG... to be honest.. i was glad that i pass my exam and i wasn't really thinking about it. as what he always say what the worst thing that can happen.. at most retake again lorz... the thing that make me so happy is seeing him everyday.. it just brighten up my day (he's my sunshine and i'm his sunshine) =D love his smile...



went to school quickly submit my assignment and we went for dinner!


ask him where is he bringing me to.. he say duxton hill and went on telling me he did his research and he plan this time round... he went online to search for places to eat... (cos previously i complain bout him not planning... what if something went wrong.. den how?) it's been a while since the 2 of us go out and have a proper nice dinner.. i guess cos we haven't been feeling well and want to stay at home.. actually he's still coughing last nite but.. haiz.. he naughty...


we finally reach the place.. it's The toucan irish pub...



outside of the pub, there's even a wishing well and a garden.. its very pretty! he told me he choose this place bcos of the wishing well and he know i will definitely like it.. and well i love it! i love this kind of places! thank you so much darling for making the effort.. really appreciate it lots lots.. *muUacCks*
















we are at toucan!! =)



last nite was the first time i took dinner at a bar counter as one of the section is close for private function for St' Patrick day...
was kinda refreshing... haha





we ordered...


fish and chips



crispy chilly chicken



toucan wings..



the food was fantastic! yUmmY!! after that we head home as i still got to work the next day =)
had a really wonderful evening... enjoyed myself... esp. just the two of us =) i'm thankful i met someone like him who will surprise me once in a while and never get tired of reassuring me( i wonder does he) i have doubts.. not him but myself.. just to end it off.. the feeling of being surprised is just so wonderful... =D



Our pIxs














having him besides me is the best thing that can ever happen.. =) love him lots....





Tuesday 11 March 2008

soo ture...


WHAT WOMEN SAY AND THINK


FINE


This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.


FIVE MINUTES

This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.


NOTHING

This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"


GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)

This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"


GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)

This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.


LOUD SIGH

This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"


SOFT SIGH

Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.


THAT'S OKAY

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow." GO AHEAD At some point in the near future! re, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.


PLEASE DO

This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"


THANKS

A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.


THANKS A LOT

This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing"


interesting... kinda surprise when i first saw this as it's so me... keke



Monday 10 March 2008

keep in check...



in about 2 years time i'm going to be married to my SO. (we are planning our big day in 2010)

there's something i want to do as soon as possible.

i want to learn how to bake well and cook well. (not tat i can't bake or cook, but i want to cook really well, those can make him go "wah" but so far... maybe a few dishes ba... but haiz.... sometimes his comment is so much that it just kinda demoralize me... i'm not saying u can't comment but can it b a little bit more subtle? but i tink if it's too subtle i wont get it...) i had always wanted to learn how to cook and bake just that the timing now is not right.


After marriage,

i want my husband to come home every night with good home cooked food.. that thought just make me happy.

i will need to learn how to be a superwomen and better manage my time. esp. when dealing with housework and work( even though we talk about it, bout dividing the housewrk, i would still prefer myself to be doing it, afterall i'm the women and he's the man, traditional har... =) )

i will need to keep my temper in check.

most important thing, to keep the love we have for each other burning and the passion to keep growing...


Therefore my next aim....


to complete my course so that i can learn and do what every women should be doing (btw i'm not a career minded women, i'm the stay home women =D)...




Thursday 6 March 2008

happenings in my life


so many things happen and i'm really looking forward to all the changes...


some great news


---> we got a flat! at damai grove (punggol) hmm well not really but should be more or less confirm...
---> my ring! (haven't get it yet but soon.. =D)(feel bad though cos it's ex)
---> a chance for career advancement (still thinking about it)
---> SO got a job!
---> my course will be ending in less then a yr, YipPEee!!

so many great things happening.. a good start... even though i was sick almost throughout feb =)

i make a decision to get married.. can't believe that, cos, all along i'm the sort of ger who never believe in marriage since young. no idea why, maybe it's because i have seen broken marriage and how people become another person after marriage. Getting married is a big issue, different people have different issue and different thoughts to defeat..



for me....



i have many fears...



i fear...



he will have a change of heart...

he will treat me like how my dad treat my mum...

he will cheat on me...

he develop bad habits that give me hell...

what make he really think that i'm the one and what if one day he no longer think that way..

i'm reali terrified...

i'm scared...

i'm afraid of uncertainty..

But

what causes me to change my mind? seriously, i have no idea...

is it cause he's able to tolerate my bad temperament?

is it cause he's always there for me when i need him? esp. when i'm sick and he's there with me throughout..

is it cause of the things he done for me which he have never do for other gers? (positive thinking)

is it cause i'm always his priority? ( i like to think it in this way)

or

is it just a moment of impulse?

i have no idea. The man who is beside me now, i see him as honest, hardworking, dote on me, willing to make efforts, cooks for me, sharing ups and downs with me, wants the best for me and of course, he love me. But i also think that his love is stronger then the one i feel for him. is it unfair? i guess in every r/s, there will always be one who put in extra effort and more love then the other.

i enjoy attending weddings and hearing news about my friends or other people getting married. i think that's the most wonderful thing that can happen. 2 people in love embarking on the next stage of their life and starting a family....their very own family with family warmth and love... i love the exchanging of vows... esp the phrase, in sickness and in health.... this scene never fail to touch my heart and cause my eyes to filled up with tears. tears of happiness and blissfulness.

could that be the reason? or have i found the man of my dream? he's not. there's no such things as you found your dream girl or dream man. dreams are just dreams. dreams are the images, thoughts and feelings experienced while asleep, particularly strongly associated with rapid eye movement sleep. The contents and purpose of dreams are not fully understood, though they have been a topic of speculation and interest throughout recorded history.
it does not happen in reality.


the only thing i can think of is, there's nothing i can pick on him. i feel blessed that he's my boyfriend. he may not be a multimillionaire or have a extreme gorgeous face and body like a model or athlete. But he loves me.. and he's willing to work hard and give me the best he can. That's all i need. The sense of security. so what if your boyfriend is a multimillionaire or have a extreme gorgeous face and body like a model or athlete? if he doesn't love you with all his heart, you are just dating or marrying something so superficial. it could be gone the very next day.

every relationship faces different problems. for us, maybe the problem is, he smokes and i have very bad temperament. love is about giving, accepting and not asking anything in return.. it's never easy to accept something that u can't. but if he can, it means he truly love me.. he accepted my bad temperament. he accepted me for who i am. i know he wish i could accept his habit of smoking but he never tell me and keep it in his heart. he is giving. he is giving his love, his tolerance and patience towards me. i'm still learning to accept, deep down inside me i wish he will quit for good, but by accepting his one and only bad habit is the way of me proving my love for him... i'm not sure whether i can. but i hope one day when i wake up i no longer harbor any thoughts of him quiting.. that's when i truly accept him for he is.


 

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