attended a good friend wedding over the weekend, it's so lovely and beautiful and it reminds me of my own wedding..

However, something unpleasant happened.. He gave flying kisses to 2 girls that he just know on the day itself, the worse thing is he was sober not drunk, and we are together in the lift with the wedding couple and their family members..


Yes, he told me he is just teasing and playing, he never thought of any other things. And the fact that he told me after awhile proves that it is nothing.


My thoughts, if he can do this infront of me, who knows what he do behind my back. What if i do the same thing? how will he react? There was once when i told him i tripped outside zouk and he gave me a black face. He told me there could be many possibilities of why i tripped.. Even a simple incident could lead to so many possibilities not to say his flying kisses!

He was very apologetic and told me that he never thought of the consequences. I was really very upset and disappointed. Dated for 4 years, married for 7 months and even now pregnant with kid, yet he doesn't know what are the things that i can accept and not accept. But yet he can expect me not to do this and not to do that. Who knows his definitions of "just being playful and teasing"?

This pregnancy hasn't been easy for me, the first 3 months was so terrible. With the pain, cramps, headache and morning sickness, i couldn't help but feel negative towards the whole pregnancy. It was only in my 4th month when i start to feel slightly better. I was afraid of being ugly, turning into an auntie and worse thing is what if i can't lose all the fats gained during my pregnancy? Ultimate negativeness...

The incident of the flying kisses make me feel even more negative and i can't help but losing faith, confidence and trust in him and our marriage. Especially he mention those girls are not bad. Jealously? i don't know, but my heart certainly doesn't feel good. Even though, he told me that he will prove it to me through actions and that time will tell that he has always been telling the truth. He keep saying that he truly love me , but at this moment, my heart aches and my mind went wild whenever i think of what happen that day and his explanation of being playful and never thought of the consequences...

i just don't want to end up with a broken heart again...

"Ouch!! you hit me on my tummy!!!"

"i don't want to sleep next to you anymore, i'm going to sleep on the mattress!"

"Baby, where got husband and wife sleep separately?"

"I don't care, I don't want to sleep next to you anymore!"

Next morning, i woke up with the fan on, bloster, blanket next to me..

Sweetness~~~~~